My Imperfect Moment In Time
A few nights ago…I cried. I mean I REALLY cried! It was one of those wailing, mucus running, and saliva drooling type of releases! I succombed to the anxieties of my life; I yielded to the stressors I had been avoiding and just LET IT OUT! You see…..it was hard for me to do that. People that deal with me everyday would not see that side of me. They would not know how anxious I am about doing well in my new position. They could never tell that I am losing sleep and weight because I am constantly worried about my child…..they would never know that. The only person that carries that weight with me is my husband. When I woke up at 3:00 a.m. sobbing, snotting, and wailing….he just held me. He clutched me in his arms and allowed me to cry, cuss, and go through the overwhelming emotions of being scared to angry and ultimately sad. He did not say anything; he just allowed me to “be.” The next morning he didn’t bring the incident up; we went to work as usual and I was thankful that he “understood” that I had a moment. Because of this one incident, I became quite intrigued with the purpose of a spouse. Bare with me as I further delve into one of the most honored gifts given by God–spouse.
Purpose & Roles of a Spouse
God created marriage in the image of himself. Therefore, your spouse should ultimately complete you and make you feel whole. It’s funny how many times my husband has finished my sentences or how we both are having the same train of thought! I never fully understood the meaning of “completeness” until that started happening….OFTEN! In this short amount of time, we have found that “the two really are one.” With that, comes various parts that each partner in the union must respect and uphold.
- Companionship – Your spouse should be your friend! You should be able to tell each other anything without fear of being judged or criticized. After all, doesn’t the union commemorate the walk of two becoming one?
- Pleasure/Merriment– Your spouse should bring you pleasure….yes both physically and mentally! Marriage is honorable in the eyes of God therefore physically pleasing your spouse should be emjoyable. The merriment comes when two people decide to experience and enjoy one another not allowing anyone to compromise that union.
- Roles– This can be a touchy topic so I will break it down S-L-O-W-L-Y! Men and women are different by design. Therefore, we do have different roles. The man is the protector, provider, and has the responsibilities of covering his family. The woman is the background to her husband’s foreground. She is there to encourage, nurture, honor, and contribute to the design of the family.
Meeting the Needs of Your Spouse
As a wife, it did take me awhile to learn how to relate to my husband. I had been single for so long! I was used to my own routines, my own way of doing things, and baby when I tell you that the transition was hard…….I mean it was tres’ difficile! You see I came up the daughter of a single hard working, 2 job having mother. I was used to getting it done without help, without compromise, and with the certainty that I would always be in control. But….that’s not what it’s about at all! I had to understand how to become a loving wife in order to meet the needs of my spouse.
Loving wives build their husbands up and let them know that they are valued. We are helpers when they are in need. We provide that listening ear and that shoulder to lean on; we treat our husbands with respect. Our role is so immeasurable. It is important to accept him for who he is and to appreciate the man that he is as well. And yes, a loving wife will put her selfish wants and desires to the side in order to ensure that her husband has needs that are fulfilled as well.
Husbands….you are not off the hook! As I read and investigated I came to discover that the male role consists of more than just being the protector and provider. Yes….that is a very vital role but that’s not all God intended for you to do when it comes to your wives. One thing that women worry about as they get older is remaining physically attractive for their husbands. We need to know that we are still #1. So it is your job to love your woman unconditionally! With me being a tinch or two older than my husband, I do get concerned about my physical attributes. He tells me that he has “dove’s eyes” and that he only sees me. I know that might sound corny or whatever but it makes me smile. It is important that your woman know that you will love her no matter if she gets a few wrinkles or puts on a few pounds. That woman has to know that above all else, she is #1 in your life. You also have the responsibility of serving your wife and her needs. Do you help around the house? When is the last time you cooked dinner or took the kids out so that she could enjoy a quiet evening at home? Do you encourage her when it comes to her hopes and dreams? Are you there providing a listening ear as well? All of these components encompass the spouse’s purpose.
Marriage is an alliance! What I have come to learn is that your spouse must complement you. In return, you must recipricate this complement. The purpose of being a spouse is the GREATEST role that one can be blessed with. It is one that requires that you both become one through your dedication, compassion, understanding, protection, nurturing, and most of all LOVE!